Jennifer Aniston and Lou Gallagher Aniston! Has a nice ring to it!!

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Jennifer Aniston and her husband Justin Theroux have decided to go their separate ways. 

I don’t like it when couples split up.

Jenn has been through a few rough relationships. Look at Ross?

She just can’t seem to find the right guy.

Even Brad Pitt wasn’t enough for her.

When she recently wed, I thought she had just settled for him.

I guess she just couldn’t take one more day.

But I feel somewhat guilty? Why?

Because she hasn’t met me yet.

I feel bad for her.

She must know that I'm out here.

That’s the only reason I can think of.

And I AM out here. Waiting patiently.

I go to all the places I imagine she would frequent.

Perko’s, Walmart, Denio’s…

Most weeknights, you’ll find me working in my garage. I can hear the doorbell when it rings. The dogs will bark.

Before you say “Lou, you’re a married man!” I should tell you it works both ways in our house. 

My wife and I both have our exclusionary people. 

You know, if somehow one day they show up on the doorstep, we are allowed to go. 

Hers is Blake Shelton.

Mine is of course… well you know already.

Some might say “Lou, she’s freakin’ Jennifer Aniston!”

To that I say “I know! I would treat her right! As she would expect from her dream man!”

When she wants to go out for dinner, I could take her to Applebee’s with a gift card.

Her money would go so much further if we shop at Grocery Outlet and Target.

She gets free shampoo and conditioner.

Being a car guy, unlike her future ex-husband, I could buy her something used in the $20K range? 

Maybe even a Hyundai?

A house? Oh sure! I’ve been looking at some properties with some land in Rio Linda. 

We could build there!

Enjoy some wide open space.

We could grow old together! Eating spaghetti O’s and cuddling on a bean bag chair watching NASCAR!

As you can see, I have clearly thought this out in great detail!

Jenn, what are you waiting for?

I would be perfect for you!

Now you have no excuse!

You’re burning daylight!

Ring the damn bell already, wouldya?

Please and thank you!

Lou Gallagher

530-666-7997

Website: 

www.MenAreSoSmart.com 

Email:

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lougallagher@yahoo.com

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